cronechronicler

Exploring the poetry of everyday life

Pomp and Circumstance

Memory is an inexplicable thing
Grandson’s high school graduation the scene
Present tense gave way when the music began
Magnet of past time
Drew me back through the years
Feelings surged from an abyss
Formerly unknown.

In grade school I was taught
The Pledge of Allegiance and Star Spangled Banner
Instilling within me love of my country
Now bursting like stars while we sang
And we pledged hand over heart
At the high school graduation
A deep sadness welled up.

Once taken for granted
Could we possibly lose
Old glories, good virtues
Respect and forbearance
Kindness, equality, justice and love?
I pray for a future beyond present tense
Safe for all the world’s children.

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Deja Vu

Early in the month of May five years ago I had “the talk” with my husband that got the wheels rolling for me to be sitting here at my computer telling this part of my story. For a great while my heart had longed to move to Cleveland and live near my family. And so on that sunny May day I gathered my courage and asked my husband to help me figure out how to make my dream a possibility. Of all the ways I expected him to reply he surprised me by immediately saying he would help me. He was aware that I had not been happy for a while, and neither was he. I remember the tenderness of this moment when we both acknowledged we were ready to let go of our marriage. I think it was one of our finest moments.

The next months were a whirlwind of making the arrangements necessary to pack up and begin my life anew. It was three months and two days after that talk that I arrived in Cleveland to stay. My time here has borne rich fruit. I spend good times close to family members, especially my growing grandchildren. We share in celebrations and hardships as a family. It is a precious surprise to find I have a life and friends of my own here. I have even allowed myself to enjoy the gift of being my own person apart from family members. I consider myself settled in my new home in every way. The other day it was a real jolt to discover strong feelings I still have for my former home.

Recently a couple of my friends and I went to a Book Discussion Day. We learned that Virginia Woolf’s novels influenced the writing of the featured author. One friend decided to read Woolf’s Mrs. Dalloway and explore this idea. She invited me to read the book and discuss it with her. I remembered that Virginia Woolf was one of the Bloomsbury school of writers. I also thought I remembered that the small group of town houses I called home in Chicago was called Bloomsbury Townhomes. To check my memory I Googled the name Bloomsbury and my street address. Suddenly there appeared on my computer screen pictures of the sidewalk in front of my house and a low brick wall beside it. I could see the Jewish Day Nursery and its playground across the street from me. The sound of children always made me happy. Seeing these familiar scenes took my breath away. My chest tightened and I cried. I could not believe what I was feeling. I thought I had said good-bye to Chicago. I had packed up and moved the things that really mattered. My dream of living close to my family was a reality. So why was I overcome with emotion ?

I could leave my husband. I could let go of almost all my books, many household items – mine and some that were my mother’s, clothes and even furniture and never look back. What I could not erase was the sense of place that encompassed me and the home I inhabited for almost twenty years. I will never want to erase living through good times and growing pains that I experienced there. It has found its place inside me as part of my whole. I am grateful.

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Everyday Inspiration Day Eleven: A Last Cup Of Coffee

Mama, if we were having coffee right now I’d tell you how much I wish I had said yes to your invitation to get a cup of coffee and a bite of something sweet that Christmas Eve so long ago. I remember how excited I felt that my husband, our three little boys and I  had flown to Greenwood to spend Christmas with you and Daddy. This was a special trip. It was wonderful news that you were recovering after the scary trouble you had with congestive heart failure. That Christmas Eve was a busy day. Even though you usually began Christmas shopping in July there were always a few last minute things you had on your list. You loved shopping and could run rings around me hunting for the perfect gift for each grandchild. You wore me out. After you finished shopping you wanted to stop for a cup of coffee. Remember all the times we had coffee together through the years. First it was after clothes shopping for  me and later for baby things. It was practically a ritual. But that Christmas Eve I said no. I needed to get back and see what my sons were up to. At bedtime  I watched you stuff their Christmas  stockings with goodies. You put an orange in the toe of each stocking, just like you did for us children when  we were young.  In the middle of the night Daddy woke us up to say the Emergency Squad was on the way to take you to the hospital. You  had a heart attack and died early Christmas morning. I’m so sorry I didn’t  have that cup of coffee with you.

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Haiku: Elusive

Silvery, silken
Gossamer reminiscence
Of days now long past

Faded and precious
Distant from reality
It’s time to move on

Dreams spread before me
Future possibility
Rainbow in gray skies.

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Haiku: Wistful Thinking

January days
Snow outside snug in my chair
Happy with my lot.

March brings crocuses
Soul awakes to pulse of spring
Taunting memories.

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