poetrybyheart.me

Doing my Christmas shopping last year I was stumped at what to get for my son Bob and his family. They were going to California to be with my daughter-in-law Linda’s family and were planning excursions to Big Sur and skiing near Lake Tahoe. I didn’t want to add any large sized gifts to their luggage but wanted my gift to be special since my oldest grandson Bobby would be a Freshman in college next year. This was the last Christmas “as it always was” for them. Then a lightbulb went off in my head.

Buying a fresh Christmas tree and decorating it together was a huge tradition in their family. Over the years I had given Bob and Linda crystal angels, stars and snow flakes to hang on the tree. For Bobby and his brother James it was Fisher Price toys and Thomas the Tank engine train sets before their interest turned to Pac-Man and beyond and I had to ask their parents for suggestions. This special year I thought the perfect gift would be ornaments for everyone in the family. Part of the fun for me is shopping around for just the right gift for each person. Then I imagined how they would love the surprise as they unwrapped their new ornaments and decorated the tree. And afterwards cherish the memory.

This wasn’t to be. Getting off to California was quite a production and eclipsed the gift of Christmas ornaments. When my son and his family got back I heard how each person had experienced something uniquely suited to them and what a grand adventure the trip turned out to be. I was thrilled to hear their stories. Maybe next year when it is time to get out all the ornaments for another tree “my” ornaments will come to light.

I learned that you can’t make a memory for somebody else. Loved ones and children will weave their own experience from shared tales into a memory and then it becomes precious to them.