cronechronicler

Exploring the poetry of everyday life

Haiku: Caps In the Air

Summer job, pay checks
Oldest grandson makes me proud
Hard work paying off

Real life lessons learned
High School Senior must apply
Goal to graduate

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Give and Take

Two big trips in one month have undone me.
I see in the mirror that aging’s o’er taken me
My bones creak with knowing, my gait is slowing
I certainly have been brought up short.

Mind set on perseverance I plowed ahead
Burned all my energy going the distance
Got home, collapsed and then I asked
Is this really worth it?

The answer calls for creative investment
Spending my energy on what I like best
Expanding, enriching life in my home town
Short travels with family icing on my cake.

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It’s Not About the Weather

I imagine it is pretty universal to talk about the weather when you don’t have anything else to say. I’ve been writing haiku about nature which in blog language might be comparable. A sea change has been upon me. I can feel it but haven’t verbalized it to myself. So here goes.

After I was physically over-challenged by my trip to Costa Rica in March I made a decision to accept that my body is aging. My strong spirit is leading me in different directions. I’m cloudy about where I’ll end up. I’ve searched for trips to take in 2016 that are less vigorous physically. There is one to Yosemite, a place I have wanted to explore, where I could see the wonders from the window of a van and learn things seated in a room somewhere. That would be a travesty to my wanderlust. No going there. I found a writing class where we will write using our five senses “like Mary Oliver” – and do little walking. This is more like it. I signed on for next May. Air travel is an adventure but not of the fun kind. I’m willing to take that challenge to get myself to the writing class. The trick I’m learning is wanting to do something bad enough to figure out how to manage my physical limitations.

For the past twenty years I’ve been traveling to Mexico to spend a week at a timeshare my former husband and I bought. In a couple of weeks I’ll go there with my sons and their families – thirteen of us – to celebrate Thanksgiving. This will be a blow-out week. We will also celebrate my youngest son’s twentieth wedding anniversary, my middle son’s fiftieth birthday and my seventy-ninth. We have much to be thankful for. After going to Mexico with so many people I think going alone, as I have done the past few years, seems sad. I had asked my newly widowed sister to join us this year but she declined because she wanted to be with her son and his bride-to-be for Thanksgiving. She called me last week and said she wanted to go with me some time besides Thanksgiving. I jumped at a chance for her company so I booked us for early November next year.

My world is slipping back into focus. For years I have put trips on my calendar and airplane tickets in a drawer reserved for them. It’s like I was casting a line forward that colored the intervening days with expectation. Until this past week the only thing in my “travel drawer” was a confirmation for Thanksgiving from the timeshare resort and my plane tickets. I tried to adjust to a life lived in the present in my home town without much success. I’m not ready to “pack it in” just yet. My drawer now holds the necessities for my 2016 travels and my spirit is at peace. I’m not sure what condition my arthritic knee will be in. I do know that it will not hold me back .

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Writing 101 – Life Lessons

A list of things I’ve learned is quite long. Here are the ones that bubbled to the top when I gave thought to my life lessons.

!. No is as satisfactory an answer as yes. I grew up in the South where the culture, at least for girls, was to say yes (mam) no matter what I thought or wanted. I decided when I was fifty to have my yes’s mean yes and my no’s mean no. A more satisfactory arrangement.

2. Freedom is a gift I can give myself. Giving myself permission to grow into myself was exhilarating. It’s not always pretty but I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Accepting myself as I am is the key.

3. Taking risks is the machinery of change. I have learned to trust myself to the future of my sometime scary actions and am surprised where I land. Risking stretches me and grows my wings.

4. Love does not define marriage. Marriage defines love. After being twice married and divorced I have shed my romantic ideals. Instead I see the beauty of partner’s shaping a lifetime of history together out of what was given them. Solitude is a gift of being single that suits me now.

5. A sense of humor and the ability to laugh at myself is a gift of aging. Old age is funny and a special time to be embraced. I have gained wisdom and am also free to be childlike. It is delightful to be audacious. People don’t mess with white-haired old women when their minds are made up.

6. Children and grandchildren are the center of my life. Watching my six grandchildren grow into their unique selves fills my heart to overflowing. I wasn’t sure how to be a grandmother because I had no role model. Both of mine died before I was three years old. I’ve learned this is not a one-size-fits-all thing. All I need do is love them and show up. They take it from there.

7. I’ve learned that when I walk out my door there is a universe waiting to engage me with surprises and people there to catch me when I fall down.

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