cronechronicler

You don't know where you are going. You don't know how to get there. And you arrive just the same. Ghanaian saying

Episode Number Two: The Wonderful One Hoss Shay- 2019 Model

Behind the scenes my primary care doctor was monitoring the action. He noticed that my eye doctor’s concern about a stroke resulted in my appointment with the retina specialist. When the specialist made the call that I have macular degeneration and began treatment, the plot veered away from a possible TIA. My doctor picked up the loose string and arranged for me to have MRI’s of my brain, eye and neck. The results were that I did not suffer a stroke. However, I do have narrowing of the blood vessels in my brain. The next step is for me to see a neurosurgeon.

Up to now I have been weathering this weird series of my having a problem, a doctor making a diagnosis and passing me on to a specialist who instead finds something different and the next specialist coming up with another possibility – twice. The thought of having narrowing blood vessels in my brain begins a new chapter, if not a whole new book. It is scaring me. And my appointment with the neurosurgeon is three weeks away.

My problem with pain from sciatica and arthritis in my knee is ongoing but getting better. I began physical therapy last week. In my assessment the therapist asked me about my recent medical problems. I gave him my litany. When I got to my brain MRI and the diagnosis that I had not had a stroke… but, the therapist broke in and said, “They found narrowing of blood vessels in your brain.” Like this is normal. He explained that they will keep a watch on me from now on to see if anything develops.

Finally things are coming full circle. I think I’m in good enough shape to go another ten years. This One Hoss Shay is not ready to collapse just yet.

13 Comments »

Episode Number One: The Wonderful One Hoss Shay – 2019 Model

July 14 was a wonderful day. I joined the small church where I was once pastor for the 175th Anniversary of its founding. My son, who had spent many weekends visiting me there, was my escort. It was a lovely travel back in time. By the end of the month I was in quite different territory.

Toward the end of July while typing the newsletter for the apartment building where I live – along with the word game ladies and the wonderful patio occupied by oak trees and squirrels, I suddenly saw bizarre forms marching across my computer screen. Upside-down vee’s and scallop-like humps decorated the page. This went on for several days until I finished my task. Then my vision returned to a new sort of normal. I thought stress had done me in. Typing was never my strong suit.

About a month later, on the day after Labor Day, I awoke with horrendous pain in my right knee and down my leg. I had experienced pain from sciatica before, but never like this. My doctor prescribed pain medication which took care of things until the RX ran out. The next step was x-rays and a visit to an orthopedic doctor. He told me that my knee had almost no cartilage left. In due time I’ll be a candidate for a knee replacement which this doctor specializes in. Nice to know but I think I’ll wait. Instead I’ll go for Physical Therapy.

At a regular check-up with my eye doctor I reported the strange vision I had experienced in July. She said if I had notified her when it happened she would have sent me straight to the ER to check me out for a TIA. Instead she sent me to a retina specialist. This doctor diagnosed me with age-related macular degeneration, the wet kind, and gave me an injection in my eye. During the hour I had spent in the waiting room I heard a woman talking about having such injections for the past five years with the result that she could still do most of the things that mattered to her, including driving. Never dreaming that I was about to discover I had the same problem, I nodded to myself that that was a good thing. After I received the diagnosis I thought that I would probably be able to see until I was ninety.

My primary care physician received reports concerning these visits. Wait for the next installment to see where that led me.

15 Comments »

Haiku: Weather Amnesia

Tarp covering pool
Lounge chairs stored for the winter
Declare summer’s end

Yet hard to believe
Squirrels still gathering acorns
Fall sunshine beams warmth

Not a bad trade-off
Bright colored leaves and white snow
Will come in due time

17 Comments »

Haiku: Hope Is the Thing With Feathers

Changes are daunting
Signs of aging surround me
Not for faint of heart

Surprises yet charm
Emanating from strangers
Delight and joy

Days that begin grey
May hold moments of newness
I’m not giving up

16 Comments »

Haiku: Exploring Everyday Life

For five years or so
I sought and found poetry
Alive all around

Once fertile places
Barren of inspiration
Poetic muse fled

World news tells stories
Unjust uses of power
Death and climate change

Writing unconquered
More essential than ever
Has stories to tell

My bailiwick calls
Ordinary life a poem
Alive within self

8 Comments »

Dancing Lessons

Many days I feel there is no poetry in the world to explore. The pink stripes in the sky will reappear with Winter. What will they say to me? The patio has gone through its Autumn transformation. The iron furniture has been stored and the pool is empty. Summer was not the same with endless days when the thermometer hit 90. I don’t mind that it is over. Spring is a distant memory.

Four years ago I wrote of my magical experience watching acres of tulip bulbs being plowed under after they bloomed in the Spring. The soft brown fallow fields shared with me their wisdom. Though the fields were bare they were rich with everything necessary to nurture tulips next season. I felt the pull of being fallow. I wanted to empty my life of all that had busied it and let what was already within me bear fruit. I found freedom and an unexpected gift. I could write poetry.

After moving to be near my family, the new roots I put down have taken firm hold. Life at the Greenbriar is good. I believed I was settled-in once and for all. Now the world has changed in ways I have no words to describe. I’ve stepped back to take a longer view. My mind is awakening to old histories and possibilities of new hope for our future. Once more being fallow will allow me room to grow.

A small miracle happened Sunday while we celebrated World Wide Communion at church. The last hymn of the service was “We Are Walking in the Light of God”, an African Freedom Song. The last verse of the hymn reads “We are dancing in the light of God”. As we sang people began to move about. A friend pulled me from my pew. She and I began to dance in the aisle, making it up as we went along. Other people gave us space. I think they were amazed that two seasoned women were so uninhibited. When the music stopped she and I couldn’t stop laughing. I still feel the glow. The world has surprises I never imagined happening when I am alive to the moment. My new way of being fallow dances to a different beat.

10 Comments »

Refurbishment

To look at my present as possible past
Daunting endeavor, confusing at best
Then Aha! moment furnished direction
Live in the now! where else?

Standing in line at a ballyhooed art show
On my feet two hours at least
Energized by engagement I realized
My cane and I can go miles before rest

A present rich with much possibility
Brand new exploration if I open my eyes
Reach for new challenges from creative grab bag
Open doors not extensions of past

With curiosity checked-out travel offerings
Searching for something I had missed before
Discovered adventures focused on interests
Not only the aging seek learning in classrooms

And so next September I head for New Hampshire
To learn and to listen to sizzling Cool Jazz
Taking first step toward reimagination
Living into new perspectives on life

21 Comments »

Challenging Time

When first I began posting crone chronicles
Enriched by Word Press 101 prompts
I sat at my computer catching ready-made stories
Tumbling from a lifetime of rich memories
Lovely to go back and re-member the past

Seems as if now life around me is changing
Much new is good, much more terrifying
Past seems an irrelevant line drawn in the sand
The who I was then needs refurbishment
What I live and write now creates  past for my future

21 Comments »

Requiem

Exploring the poetry of everyday life
More easily said than done these days
Time to reset and center myself
Face facts that changes warping the world
Seem to be settling in for a long haul

Poetry is not dead Heaven forbid
This lifeblood of humans flows deep in our veins
Hidden beneath horrors spewed out in the news
Goodness and glory in shapes still unseen
Kindness and God’s grace yet will prevail

12 Comments »

Haiku: Passing Time

Days move slower now
Crawling at a turtle pace
Time to smell a rose

Weeks go charging by
Rapid rabbits hop along
Where did my time go?

17 Comments »