Sometimes everything has to be enscribed across the heavens so you can find the one line already written inside you. Sometimes it takes a great sky to find that small, bright, and indescribable wedge of freedom in your own heart. David Whyte

Strange Grief

on July 16, 2017

Two husbands I have put behind me
Two marriages spent in years that equal half my life
I did not grieve exact dates of their ending
I do not grieve today their rich existence
Divorce, for me, resulted in mixed blessings
Quite a different shade of grief

My weddings both were days of joy
Expectations of forevermore
Promises to ensure our future
Constancy in good times and in poor
Lovely dreams spun from an illusion
Not accounting for realities ahead

Living showered me with gifts and challenges
A fifties girl whose eyes were opened wide
Even now I feel the swell of my adventures
Surging through my heart with every breath
Grief put aside I count my every blessing
Beginning with three sons and my grandchildren

Becoming an independent woman
Economic struggles trained me well
After trial and error I discovered
Life as a solitary is not half bad
Lately I received my gift – the poet
Who lives within me and who is my friend.

Many couples married or unmarried
Share a special precious golden bonding
Create a unit multiplying love
I grieve such a companion to grow old with
Not finding this for me I made a choice
I grieve – but I do not regret

18 responses to “Strange Grief

  1. A very touching poem Ina, I felt all the emotions with you and your sense of acceptance for all you have lived through and where you are now.

  2. Victo Dolore says:

    This was packed full of truth and life. Thank you for sharing it!

  3. vivachange77 says:

    Thanks for your comment, Victo. ❤

  4. vivachange77 says:

    Thanks for your grace-ful comment, Andrea.

  5. den169 says:

    Well said! Peace!

  6. we can only make decisions based on information then at hand – when information changes, so will decsions

  7. Christy B says:

    It sounds like you look back and realize that all that has happened has led you to become who you are today.. and it a more beautiful life for having learned this xx Huge hugs

  8. Eileen says:

    This is powerful. Such a realistic description of the joys and sorrows, gifts and losses of life. Whatever way our lives play out, it is always a mix of these. I particularly like the “I grieve, but I do not regret.” Awesome. Thank you for sharing this. You have found your gift for sure.

  9. Eileen says:

    PS also can affirm that experience of “lovely dreams spun from an illusion, not accounting for realities ahead.” I remember my eyes being opened in mid life when a minister emphasized that “Life is hard.” I lived always in the wonderful future when everything miraculously would finally work out. That minister also pointed out something crucial that I think I hear you saying: when making choices we will like the good side of them all, so we need to decide which one has a down side we can live with. 🙂

    • hbsuefred says:

      Well, I’ve always told my girls, when it comes to picking a “life partner”, you first have to figure out what you absolutely cannot live with, and consider all other issues to be negotiable. I formulated this theory after living what would seem to be a life the exact opposite of yours. I didn’t get married until I was in my mid 30s, which was almost thirty years ago now. I had also pretty much come to accept the possibility, at that point, that I would never find a life partner. Our life together to this point, and now what we see beyond it, has generally proven my theory to be correct.

      • vivachange77 says:

        I’m happy for you. You chose well. The first time I was twenty-two and believed in marrying and “living happily after”. I was fifty-nine the second time and thought I knew better.

  10. vivachange77 says:

    Eileen, thanks for your minister’s wise words on choices. I never looked at my divorces like that but that is how they turned out. Sometimes I am lonely aging by myself but much prefer it to the alternative of living with either of my former husbands. Choosing how we deal with aging is the biggest decision of all I think. ❤

  11. janowrite says:

    I could relate to this one – meaningful and rings so true. Thanks for posting.

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