Sometimes everything has to be enscribed across the heavens so you can find the one line already written inside you. Sometimes it takes a great sky to find that small, bright, and indescribable wedge of freedom in your own heart. David Whyte

It’s Not About the Weather

on November 5, 2015

I imagine it is pretty universal to talk about the weather when you don’t have anything else to say. I’ve been writing haiku about nature which in blog language might be comparable. A sea change has been upon me. I can feel it but haven’t verbalized it to myself. So here goes.

After I was physically over-challenged by my trip to Costa Rica in March I made a decision to accept that my body is aging. My strong spirit is leading me in different directions. I’m cloudy about where I’ll end up. I’ve searched for trips to take in 2016 that are less vigorous physically. There is one to Yosemite, a place I have wanted to explore, where I could see the wonders from the window of a van and learn things seated in a room somewhere. That would be a travesty to my wanderlust. No going there. I found a writing class where we will write using our five senses “like Mary Oliver” – and do little walking. This is more like it. I signed on for next May. Air travel is an adventure but not of the fun kind. I’m willing to take that challenge to get myself to the writing class. The trick I’m learning is wanting to do something bad enough to figure out how to manage my physical limitations.

For the past twenty years I’ve been traveling to Mexico to spend a week at a timeshare my former husband and I bought. In a couple of weeks I’ll go there with my sons and their families – thirteen of us – to celebrate Thanksgiving. This will be a blow-out week. We will also celebrate my youngest son’s twentieth wedding anniversary, my middle son’s fiftieth birthday and my seventy-ninth. We have much to be thankful for. After going to Mexico with so many people I think going alone, as I have done the past few years, seems sad. I had asked my newly widowed sister to join us this year but she declined because she wanted to be with her son and his bride-to-be for Thanksgiving. She called me last week and said she wanted to go with me some time besides Thanksgiving. I jumped at a chance for her company so I booked us for early November next year.

My world is slipping back into focus. For years I have put trips on my calendar and airplane tickets in a drawer reserved for them. It’s like I was casting a line forward that colored the intervening days with expectation. Until this past week the only thing in my “travel drawer” was a confirmation for Thanksgiving from the timeshare resort and my plane tickets. I tried to adjust to a life lived in the present in my home town without much success. I’m not ready to “pack it in” just yet. My drawer now holds the necessities for my 2016 travels and my spirit is at peace. I’m not sure what condition my arthritic knee will be in. I do know that it will not hold me back .

30 responses to “It’s Not About the Weather

  1. jabrush1213 says:

    Sounds like you have quite a busy life filled with travel.

  2. Change is never easy and you sound like an amazing, fun, well traveled person, so you can definitely find things to do that will fulfill you and it sounds like you already have!! πŸ™‚

  3. kavvzzz says:

    I don’t think that we think much about its affect on others when we put up posts; we hope they’re enjoyed and liked but in reality, they do a lot more.
    The truth is, you have just given me a blow to the heart. I could see the years playing out with someone’s face smiling against the wind, the laughter lines growing over the edges and most importantly, the earth bundled up in their hands while the sun rises to fill up the background.
    You have just given me a blow to the heart, where my cynical self fails to think of the short comings.
    Thank you.
    Thank you for putting this out there.

    • vivachange77 says:

      Thanks for your honest and touching response. I’m glad that my wounding you turned out to be a positive experience. What wounds me is thinking about “what might have been” romantically. I think this is called sentimentality and is a bit foolish.

  4. kavvzzz says:

    I don’t think we realise the kind of effect our words have on others; we hope they’re enjoyed and liked but what really happens is so much more grand.
    This gave me a blow to the heart. I could picture the wind rushing over someone’s smiling face, their hands whooshing over waves, growing laughter lines at the edges, the concoction of beauty high over the clouds, a person breathing.
    You have given me a blow to the heart, where my cynical self fails to see the shortcomings.
    Thank you for putting this out there.

  5. Dalo 2013 says:

    I’ve begun to wonder myself when I will start having to curb my travels and adventures and I quickly realized I already have. There are no more rock climbing or more insane hikes/ski trips – and some of the great hikes I have done in the past now bring aching knees… Your post here reminds me that stepping back and taking another look at how and where I travel is a good thing…and it looks like you are well on your way of continuing your wanderlust ways. Enjoy your Thanksgiving fun ~

    • vivachange77 says:

      Thanks for your comment, Dalo. I am touched to hear that you are re-evaluating your adventures also. I see this part of the journey as the most formidable challenge so far. High stakes and really good rewards. Cheers to the continued journey. πŸ™‚

  6. J Lapis says:

    I was very moved, reading this–so glad that you’re finding your peaceful self, and maintaining an indomitable spirit, not letting the knees rule or ruin your plans for adventure. I wish you beautiful times–wherever you go, with whomever you share these times; may they be rich and full with meaning and memory keepsake souvenirs. xxoo, J

  7. vivachange77 says:

    Heart-felt thanks for your comment, J. It is wonderful to have you for a sister traveler on this human journey.

  8. You had a great time travelling. Good for you.

  9. vivachange77 says:

    Absolutely. I will explore the possible. I plan to become expert at using a wheelchair in airports for one thing.

  10. Fabulous post. I liked it a lot. Funny how we used to go go go and now how we’re slowing down. LOL. Ain’t life grand.

  11. This is the first winter in almost 2 decades that my mother and her husband will not be spending in Florida due to their age and insurance rates. They will be spending it in the frigid Canadian winter. This causes me tremendous stress since I am 4 hours and many centimetres of snow away (for most of the season). Enjoy your Thanksgiving!

  12. vivachange77 says:

    I’m sorry your mother and her husband have to stay in Canada for the winter. Parents’ aging affects their children as well.

  13. Meredith says:

    We are similar. I understand what you’re feeling.

  14. vivachange77 says:

    Thanks. I appreciate your understanding.

  15. Meredith says:

    Martha is younger that I and drives when we travel. I like short road trips. The last one we took I did some hiking. The most challenging was down a trail, over boulders. There came a point where I stopped and waited for her to finish and come back. My remark, “easier going down than coming up!” I’ll stay as active as I can.

  16. vivachange77 says:

    I think you are a wonder to hike. Boulders give me trouble, too, though I find going downhill more difficult than going up.

  17. hbsuefred says:

    Well, as they say, yours is clearly a case of “the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak.” Maybe it’s a good thing that I was not terribly adventurous when I was younger so now I don’t miss that ability as much? On the other hand, since my mindset as far as exploring life’s possibilities is similar to yours, I still want to give kayaking a try so I can take advantage of the lake that’s just across the road at the end of my backyard. I didn’t know the Costa Rica trip you have written about was taken so recently. I look forward to seeing some more exotic places through your eyes and wonderfully expressive words. I also can’t wait to hear about your big happy family’s Thanksgiving reunion in Mexico. Y’all will certainly have a lot to celebrate!

  18. vivachange77 says:

    I like your plans to kayak. Go for it! My trip to Mexico was magical and nothing I could have imagined. Family reunions have a way of bringing up things from the past. There were anger and tears – honest statements expressed and accepted – between my sons. Two daughters-in-law who had issues in the past came together when one dressed the other for a celebration of her 20th wedding anniversary in her sequin-topped dress. They discovered they have the same bra size. I will write about this in a post. I returned feeling I have a family six grown children (no in-laws) and six grandchildren. I feel drenched in love. My next trip is to Ripley West Virginia to a five day writing class. I will explore more the world of minds and writing which fit my now-accepted weakness of flesh. Thanks for asking about my recent trip. ❀

  19. JoHanna Massey says:

    ‘It’s like I was casting a line forward that colored the intervening days with expectation.’ Yes….I know that feeling exactly. I have gotten myself through many a rough patch with the well laid plans and reservations for activities just up ahead. A very true and insightful post about the true experience of aging. Thank you.

  20. vivachange77 says:

    Welcome to the journey, sister traveler. Thanks for your comment.

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