cronechronicler

Exploring the poetry of everyday life

Radiant Beauty

…To know that what is impenetrable to us really exists, manifesting itself as the highest wisdom and the most radiant beauty

Albert Einstein

Several years after I conceived of my intention to become an original I decided it was time to try my wings. A chance arose for me to join a small group travelling to Kenya to see the animals. I decided to spend money from my retirement nest egg on a wonderful adventure now rather than saving it all for an unknown future.

The afternoon we arrived at Maasai Mara Game Preserve we rode out to see the animals who live there. We were treated to the spectacle of the circle of life. We saw mother elephants and giraffes nursing their babies; a mother ostrich frantically running and flapping her wings to deter predators from harming her hidden young; a cheetah stalking its dinner and then streaking like the wind to kill it; a pride of female lions and their young resting in the shade of scraggly vegetation while the king of the animals looked on from a distance; an antelope carcass being picked clean by vultures. Rain fell on the dull brown grass, followed by a rainbow. A carpet of bright flowers appeared the next day.

Before daybreak the next morning I was sitting on the back porch of my sleeping quarters. Everything was dark and still, yet I knew there were animals near by because I had seen them the day before. The sounds of insects and small creatures broke the silence. Other animals joined the symphony one by one. Only the very large animals kept silent. The world was waking up and I was present! I felt the wonder, beauty and powerful energy of creation. I sensed that creation was there before me and happened without me. I was only a spectator lucky enough to have bought a ticket for the show.

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How it all began.

 

What we call the beginning is often the end
And to make an end is to make a beginning.
The end is where we start from.

T.S. Eliot

It all started while watching old family slides at Christmas time a couple of years ago with all my children and grandchildren.

At that time I was remarried. My second husband and I had become grandparents a bit late in life and both delighted in our grandchildren. His lived in the same city as we did. I visited my children and grandchildren who lived some distance away as often as possible, but there is no substitute for on the ground, everyday grand parenting. I wanted to get to know my grandchildren by being a part of their everyday ups and downs. Deep inside I understood that if I reached the end of my life and hadn’t made this move I would regret it.

I didn’t know how this would come about. And then we watched the slide show of family photos. I felt the indescribable and irreplaceable pull of BEING FAMILY. There is nothing like it. It gave me the confidence and energy to make my life changing move. When I told my sons what I intended to do they replied that I sounded so free. They could hear it in my voice.

I had no idea how to tell my husband about my dream. I was afraid he would be terribly hurt and angry. A friend suggested that instead of telling him my decision, I ask him how we could work out plans together for me to move and rent an apartment. And we did. What I so dreaded never occurred. It’s like the words of the poet William Cowper in an old hymn, “Ye fearful saints fresh courage take, the clouds you so much dread, are big with mercy and will break in blessings on your head”.

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Sometimes everything has to be enscribed

Sometimes everything has to be enscribed across the heavens so you can find the one line already written inside you.

Sometimes it takes a great sky to find that small, bright, and indescribable wedge of freedom in your own heart.

David Whyte

When I was fifty-five I decided I wanted to be an original. I wanted to stop doing what others expected of me and discover the person who emerged. For the past twenty years I have been exploring new ways of experiencing the world I come in contact with and how it changes me.

On Mother’s Day one of my sons said “Mom, you think about life a lot and like to write so why don’t you do a blog” When another son called to wish me Happy Mother’s Day, I mentioned the blog idea. He put his eleven old son on the phone to offer advice. This grandson has a blog and walked me through creating one of my own on Word Press. Voila! Here I am, ready to write my stories about that great sky and find the unique line written inside me.

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